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Cricket, a technical manual

My understanding of the Rules of Cricket

Easy as eel pie

One side is in and one side is out until the side that is out gets the side that is in out, when they come in until they are out.

Or so I thought. I have since been informed that there are some other rules to Cricket. The following should clarify a few things:

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out. When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
 
When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game

 

 

 

Remember this day!

Pancho Villa and others at the very first Fiesta de la tarro vacía

Rare photo recently discovered

Sinko de Mayo

A contemplative Villa (left) and a glum Zapata (2nd from right) face an uncertain future

In Mexico during the time of the Revolution, mayonnaise was a national obsession. More of the condiment was consumed there than any other one place on earth, with Hong Kong a distant second.

In fact, leaders on both sides of the conflict were crazy for the stuff. But it was Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata circa 1910, who spread the spread among the common people, as it were, so that its popularity soared.

In those days, England was the mayonnaise capital of the world, with Cross & Blackwell’s, and Hellmann’s as the most popular brands, and the largest shipment of all time, some tens of thousands of jars, set out from Southampton by steamship on April 10, 1912, bound for Vera Cruz, by way of Cherbourg, New York, Charleston, and Havana.

But as history showed, the vessel was none other than the ill-fated H.M.S. Titanic, which struck an iceberg and sank on April 15th.

When news arrived in Mexico twenty days later, the war-torn people were devastated. Their anguish was so great that a truce was declared between the Federales and the rebel factions, for one day of mourning. And thus was held the very first Fiesta de la tarro vacía (Feast of the Empty Jar.)

(photo: Museos de México)

feast2

It has been observed ever since, on this very day, now known colloquially as Sinko de Mayo.

Thank you, I’m here all week …

 

One day…

Maybe…

One day, I will post a review and declare it finished and it will be finished, without the additional 48 hours of chisel tapping and complete rewriting of paragraphs only a lobotomized gibbon would have thought polished. And the next day I will drop dead.

The day after that, the international media will announce the record holder for the oldest human ever known will have expired at 187 years of age.

Cases in point include:

Ardbeg Kelpie

Martin CEO-8.2

and the Monday Map post following this one.

Cleveland Cavilers Need Extra Mojo to Win Championship

You’re welcome, Cleveland.

I realized that it was my doing, putting my chair in just the right spot, mixed with my mojo of onion rings and seltzer with tart cherry juice on ice that made the difference tonight and brought a professional sports championship to Cleveland for the first time since the 1964 Browns.

But seriously, special victories like this take incredible fortune and almost otherworldly timing – being in just the right place, at just the right time, with legs crossing and uncrossing in synch with the fabric of space-time nail chewing, while scolding the Cavalierscavalier ball handling and shooting that kept things far too close for comfort, all of which I managed to pull off flawlessly.

I haven’t watched a professional basketball game in maybe 25 years. But when I came home to catch up on Game of Thrones and realized it was halftime in Game 7 and you were down by 7 points, the numerology said it all: “You owe it to Cleveland. So do not touch that dial. Sit your rump down, eat those onion rings, and sip that not too tart cherry goodness and CONCENTRATE!”

And I came through, for you Cleveland.

When it was 89 – 89 for far too gosh darn long as shot after shot went awry followed by no offensive rebounds, I said, “That is ENOUGH!” and out came the reserve onion rings, as I straightened every seam, turned my head and coughed, and we prevailed. You and I, Cleveland.

We, at long last, prevailed.