Or Unhappy Groundhog Day in This Case!
Depressed Groundhog Sees Shadow of Rodent He Once Was
Fresh from the Onion, which stays oniony fresh after all these years.
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA—According to sources, clinically depressed groundhog and weather prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil awoke from his slumber this early morning, peered directly into his soul, and saw but a mere pathetic shadow of the rodent he once was. “My God, is this who I am now? Is this what I’ve become?” the melancholy animal told reporters, staring hopelessly out onto the pale morning light outside his pen.
Read More: https://www.theonion.com/depressed-groundhog-sees-shadow-of-rodent-he-once-was-1819574495
Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and November,
All the rest have thirty-one,
Except January, which has sixty-seven
And February, which has ninety
Hilarious Commentary of Everyday Activities Now That Sports are Cancelled
Having all sports cancelled, a pro rugby commentator Nick Heath does play-by-play about dog walkers, grocery shoppes, street crosses. BRILLIANT!
So happy someone shared this with me. Enjoy this very clever collection of short, funny videos made by a pro sports journalist, Nick Heath.
O, what levity!
Odd bodkins! If this doesn’t frame your mind to mirth and merriment, thou hast the bilious spleen of a manticore with the gout.
Here is but a sample of 21 Things Only Kids Who Grew Up In The 1590s Will Understand